Ardent

okletsjam: awidesetvagina: this is still the best story ever...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:33:15 -0400

okletsjam:

awidesetvagina:

this is still the best story ever told at a talk show

THAT SONG IS MY FAVORITE VIVALDI DUET AH

i gotta carry my phone around with me 24/7 just in case nobody texts me

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 11:12:07 -0400

i gotta carry my phone around with me 24/7 just in case nobody texts me

imnotarealfuckingpirate: After I retired, my wife insisted...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:21:55 -0400

imnotarealfuckingpirate:

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Sainsbury’s. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Sainsbury’s…

Dear Mrs. Harris,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video
surveillance cameras”:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of Maltesers.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ’ Mission Impossible’ theme.

11. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

12. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

13. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

14. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’

One of the Staff passed out.

OMFG I AM SCREAMING.

goegand: vraul: littlelionmonster: kevtheexplorer: Known for...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 13:15:13 -0400

goegand:

vraul:

littlelionmonster:

kevtheexplorer:

Known for looking like something out of a fairytale, Mont Saint-Michel is a tidal island in France outside of Normandy with a population of 41 people.

What the fuck why am I in New Jersey?

teapayne: My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 13:09:16 -0400

teapayne:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on

anofficialloser: I couldn’t find a good quality of this on...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 12:25:17 -0400

anofficialloser:

I couldn’t find a good quality of this on Tumblr, so I decided to add one myself. It’s old, but I love it. I actually cried while reading this.

Written by a member in IGN | Drawn by ONESOUND

Photo

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 22:39:02 -0400

Photo

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:25:19 -0400

“If Emmy voters can put aside any ingrained antipathy towards...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:52:58 -0400

_{“If Emmy voters can put aside any ingrained antipathy towards science fiction programming, what they’ll find in the daring Orphan Black is a bravura performance by Maslany, a young actor who is only just launching what promises to be a powerful body of work for many years to come”. (x)}

Photo

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 13:49:04 -0400

Photo

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 21:56:28 -0400

mylifeisfilm: Finally editing the Doc for...

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 18:57:22 -0400

mylifeisfilm:

Finally editing the Doc for Kyle Thompson again.

Here’s a BTS pic from the opening shot of the trailer.

Photo

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 18:52:11 -0400

jesussbabymomma: HOW IS IT 2 AM ALREADY IT WAS 1998 TWO SECONDS AGO

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 01:12:42 -0400

jesussbabymomma:

HOW IS IT 2 AM ALREADY IT WAS 1998 TWO SECONDS AGO

life-of-nat: m1ndb3nt: talk shit get fit New favorite saying:...

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 00:41:00 -0400

life-of-nat:

m1ndb3nt:

talk shit get fit

New favorite saying: Talk shit Get Fit

xatanas: This pretty much sums up my opinion about E3 today.

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 21:51:43 -0400

xatanas:

This pretty much sums up my opinion about E3 today.

Fluorescent

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 16:04:03 -0400

Fluorescent

#majesty #film #fsufilm #filmschool

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 13:11:51 -0400

#majesty #film #fsufilm #filmschool

Car rig

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 09:50:44 -0400

Car rig

Dailies

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 13:13:28 -0400

Dailies